Today at breakfast Daniel decided he wanted to pray. It was very sweet:
"Jesus, I don't know you, don't know what I say. Thank you mom make breakfast. Thank you (for) Cosette. Ok, bye."
It's a beginning.
Father, would you reveal yourself to Daniel, help him learn to know you and want to talk with you.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Conversation with Daniel
Daniel “Why you choose my name, Daniel?”
Mom “It’s a very special name, your grandpa and uncle both have the name Daniel. We knew you needed a special name because you are a special boy.”
Daniel “Momma, why you go
Mom “Because you were in
Daniel “Why you choose me mommy?”
Mom “I love you”
Daniel “Why you love me?”
Mom “I’m your mom.”
Daniel “Why you my mom?”
Mom “Because I adopted you.”
Daniel “Why you adopt me?”
Mom “Because I wanted a son and God said ‘adopt Daniel’”
Daniel “Why God say adopt Daniel?”
Mom “He wanted you to have a family.”
Daniel “Why you go
Mom “Because I love
Daniel “Why you love
Mom “Because YOU and Cosette are from
Daniel “Cosette no from
Mom “Yes, you and Cosette were both born in
Daniel “What is born?”
Mom “When you come out of your birth mommy’s tummy, that’s being born.”
Daniel “Out of tummy? How?”
Mom –not ready to answer the next question, or series of questions “Sweetheart, God made mommies tummies so they can have babies in them. Now, I think it’s time to go pick up your room.”
Life with a curious little boy.
Tonya
Monday, May 11, 2009
Mothers say 2009
5:30 a.m. - dreaming, fast asleep... drip, drip, drip. Hand on face... I'm wet, look at hand -- alarmed I'm bleeding... no that's not it, becoming more conscious of, um... oh it's a boy standing over my face, HE is bleeding! Yikes – I’m up. The boy quietly says "um momma, happy mom's day, I have bloody nose."
The day got better, I promise. John and the kids took me out to brunch at my favorite Italian place, Birraporetti’s. I’m not sure what was best; the delicious food, the live jazz and the wonderful company.At one point during lunch Daniel told me he "really really loves mommy." I asked him what he loves about mommy and he said "I
love his heart". Made me laugh (the grammar) and cry both. Then he asked me what I loved about him so I said a bunch of things, "I love your heart, I love your eyes, I love your laugh, I love your ears." etc. When I acted like I was done he would say "more mommy, what more?" so I went on, "I love your nose, I love your voice, I love how funny you are, I love your toes, I love how kind you are..." He wouldn't let me stop. He craves that love and still doesn't believe it’s his. He still needed convincing.Thanks for following along,
Tonya
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Daniel’s 7th birthday
We had a family party for Daniel yesterday. We did our best to incorporate his American favorites; fast cars, hamburgers, ice cream and cake. Normal party fare.
Daniel had fun anticipating the part all week. He squealed and giggled all week, while he asked questions trying to figure out exactly what might happen. He insisted that I make a party hat for him. We talked about his cake; first I showed him pictures of a couple of Cosette’s cakes over the years to give him some ideas. First he declared he wanted a swing set cake. I started my research, not at all sure how to make a 3D swing set. Thankfully he changed his mind. Next he wanted a police car, and finally he settled a race car cake. You can see the results here.
The evening started with torrential rains, the kind of rain that causes flash flooding here in Texas. As the guests arrived John and I were quietly keeping an eye on our back porch which has a history of collecting water and has flooded into our family room several times over the past two decades that we have in this house. We knew that the trench in the side yard was growing over and the water might have trouble finding its way around the house.
Daniel was grandly introduced by one guest. He was having such fun being the focus of attention. I have two extremely extroverted kiddos who thrive on the attention of others. As more guests arrived the energy built higher and higher. Of course there were periodic “presents now momma?” Very sweet.
John came inside with the hamburgers, prayed and started the buffet line while Guta (BIL) and I went outside with a shovel and umbrella. Guta re-dug the trench while I held the umbrella; trying unsuccessfully to keep us both dry. Thankfully the crisis was averted and most of the guests were unaware.
Finally it was time for presents so Daniel started ripping into them. He was kind and thankful; articulate and polite; all mixed up with a lot of excitement. I felt very proud of our little man.
Cosette had a difficult time sharing the focus of attention that had always in the past been hers in the past. She played host; greeting guests at the door, reading Daniel’s cards for him and serving the cake.
Overall I believe Daniel felt loved and celebrated, and that was the goal.
Enjoy the slide show. It includes spring soft ball, open house, the Fort Worth Zoo, Spring Break (Glen Rose), JP's birthday, Easter, Gateway’s V! Roundup, Dallas Arboretum, and finally Daniel's birthday.
Tonya
Thursday, April 9, 2009
7.5 months... I love spell test mom!
“I love spell test mom! I really really love spell test. Look, I know spell test mom, I know. You show daddy I know spell test!”
He was so proud of himself as he displayed his perfect score on his spelling test today. I’m incredibly proud too. It has been struggle, learning the phonics needed to really know how to spell these words. Up until recently he would memorize the shapes of the letters and regurgitate them, but not in the right order and he didn’t have a clue what they meant. After months of hard work on everyone’s part, especially his, he actually got all the words right today AND he knew what sounds related to what letters AND what the word meant. Amazing little guy!
Come on 1st grade, we are ready for you now!
Proud mom,
Tonya
He was so proud of himself as he displayed his perfect score on his spelling test today. I’m incredibly proud too. It has been struggle, learning the phonics needed to really know how to spell these words. Up until recently he would memorize the shapes of the letters and regurgitate them, but not in the right order and he didn’t have a clue what they meant. After months of hard work on everyone’s part, especially his, he actually got all the words right today AND he knew what sounds related to what letters AND what the word meant. Amazing little guy!
Come on 1st grade, we are ready for you now!
Proud mom,
Tonya
Thursday, March 12, 2009
No More Homework!
Yesterday after school Daniel decided he wasn't going to do any more homework. When I asked him why he thought that would be okay he responded with "my know English" very emphatically. I told him how proud I am of his English progress but that 'yes' he did still have to do homework and he was devastated.
If only life were that easy sweetheart!
~ T ~
If only life were that easy sweetheart!
~ T ~
Friday, February 20, 2009
I love mommy
I wanted to share that recently Daniel has started saying "I love mommy" a lot lately. He will pause for my reply "Wo ai ne Daniel" (I love Daniel). They he says "No, I really REALLY love mommy" with the emphasis on the second really and a tight hug around my neck. Makes a mothers heart very, VERY happy! He is such a tender and loving little boy who has brought so much joy to our lives.
On a more difficult note, he has recently been telling us about some violence that he witnessed in his foster home. It's quite disturbing, but I'm so glad he is feeling safe enough to tell us. The amazing thing is that Daniel does not seem to be aggressive at all. He has never displayed any aggression at school and when he fights with his sister it's verbal, not physical. What a testimony to God's grace that he did not normalize the violence he saw at home and become violent himself.
Daniel had the flu last week, so the topic of being sick, germs, hospitals, etc. came up quite a few times. During one conversation, he was trying to tell me something and I was not understanding so I asked him to draw me a picture. He drew an arm with an IV in the hand and shots going into his arm. He pointed and said "Daniel's arm." When I asked him if he was very sick he said "Oh, Tung guo (China) say no talk about sick." And that was that. He refused to say another word. It seemed clear to me he was told not to tell us about being sick. I think he forgot at first and then remembered and stopped abruptly.
I am currently searching for a play therapist with international adoption experience. Thus far I'm not having much luck. Karyn Purvis (The Connected Child) lives and works here in the Dallas metroplex but she has a two year waiting list AND you have to be in crisis to even be considered. Daniel is not in crisis. My goal of course is to avoid crisis. Any local recommendations would be appreciated.
Tonya
On a more difficult note, he has recently been telling us about some violence that he witnessed in his foster home. It's quite disturbing, but I'm so glad he is feeling safe enough to tell us. The amazing thing is that Daniel does not seem to be aggressive at all. He has never displayed any aggression at school and when he fights with his sister it's verbal, not physical. What a testimony to God's grace that he did not normalize the violence he saw at home and become violent himself.
Daniel had the flu last week, so the topic of being sick, germs, hospitals, etc. came up quite a few times. During one conversation, he was trying to tell me something and I was not understanding so I asked him to draw me a picture. He drew an arm with an IV in the hand and shots going into his arm. He pointed and said "Daniel's arm." When I asked him if he was very sick he said "Oh, Tung guo (China) say no talk about sick." And that was that. He refused to say another word. It seemed clear to me he was told not to tell us about being sick. I think he forgot at first and then remembered and stopped abruptly.
I am currently searching for a play therapist with international adoption experience. Thus far I'm not having much luck. Karyn Purvis (The Connected Child) lives and works here in the Dallas metroplex but she has a two year waiting list AND you have to be in crisis to even be considered. Daniel is not in crisis. My goal of course is to avoid crisis. Any local recommendations would be appreciated.
Tonya
Friday, February 6, 2009
5 months home... an update
I’ve been quiet for almost a month. Life has kept trucking on, I just haven’t written. I know there are many watching for updates; anticipating my posts because you love my kiddos and want to know how they are doing. So to those, you know who you are, I am sorry for my silence. I will try to post more often.
I had knee surgery on Jan 21. I tell you, recovering from surgery is different at 40 then it was at 28 (the last time I had a scope done). My body simply did not respond the way I hoped. Thankfully my sweet mom flew in from Wisconsin and spent the week with us. She took such great care of all of us! She got the kids off to school each morning, feed us, helped the kids with homework, etc. It was such a blessing to our family. I don’t know what I would have done without her.
Mom left on Sunday, so Monday afternoon when it came time to stand in the kitchen and cook dinner I thought, ‘well, we’ll see how this works.’ It didn’t work. I found I could not stand more then a few minutes. My sweet friend Julie came to the rescue and rushed over with a stool so I can lean or sit while cooking. Thanks Julie! Several other friends blessed us with a gift cards to restaurants so I wouldn’t have to be on my feet so much, cooking dinners, etc. during recovery. What great friends we have, amazing.
Yesterday was the first day of my physical therapy, which hurt like… well a lot! A friend said that the PT should stand for pain and torture, not physical therapy. After yesterday’s appointment I think I agree! Yikes. After PT I thought going out to eat (AKA not cooking) was a great idea so we met John at a restaurant on his way home from work. Daniel invited the waitress to stay and pray with us over our food. It was really sweet. He took her hand and said “you pray with us”. Very graciously, she joined hands with us and bowed her head while John prayed!
Daniel’s communicative language is exploding! Last week I was listening to John, Cosette and Daniel having a conversation from my spot on the couch (while recovering from surgery). They had been to McDonalds as a treat and had each gotten one of those silly happy meal toys. The problem was Daniel couldn’t find his and was feeling frustrated. Finally after thinking about where it might be Daniel said “Daddy, I forgot it in your truck”. Yes, he said each of those words, clearly and in the correct grammatical order. He doesn’t always speak in quite so complete sentences. My mom’s observation was that he is speaking in two word sentences mostly. The point is, he’s doing great. He almost always communicates what he wants to and he keeps trying when we don’t understand.
School is going well. He is slowly picking up on things. His teacher says that as soon as his language catches up he will excel. When I asked about 1st grade next year his teacher said “He’s a very smart boy. I’m not worried at all.” Last week he successfully spelled three of his four spelling words on his quiz. That’s amazing considering until four month ago he knew no English and until three months ago he had no formal education in his life. This week a light bulb of sorts went on as we talked about the pattern in his new list of spelling words: HUG, BUG, RUG, etc. He was so excited when he started to see the UG pattern. The minute John was home he ran and showed John the pattern too. We are very proud of his progress.
Cosette is doing well also. During my recovery from surgery she was such a wonderful little helper. She got out the cereal for the two kids morning. She helped make lunches and was my “runner” when I needed misc. things around the house. She is really excelling at school this year. When asked what her favorite subject is she says “reading.”
Daniel has started telling us stories from China. It has been so interesting learning about his foster parents and foster siblings. One story was about a friend he clearly loved. He told us about walking to his house and playing with him. Sometimes he took naps at his friend’s house. He almost cried when talking about this friend. Another story was about the day the orphanage director took him from his foster family. I think this is also when they headed to Shenyang to meet us (not sure about this). He talked about being in a “big big car” (probably a van) and seeing his “mommy” out the window. He said they were both crying. I’m so grateful he had the love of a mom and dad before he came to be with us. Another story was about a neighborhood dog that he was afraid of. How it chased him and almost bit him. He told us his “daddy” smoked and that he was sometimes mean to his “mom”. I look forward to more and more stories. We have so little information about his first 6 years. I’m writing each down as he shares them hoping these stories will be the source of some peace in the future; a connection to his past of sorts.
My favorite time of the day is when the kiddos first wake up, especially if they wake up separately. My kids are both snugglers! This morning Daniel staggered out of his room first. He came up to me and pushed his little body into mine saying “I love my mommy” while covering his eyes from the light. We usually sit in the rocker for a few minutes, as long as he will stay, and snuggle. I kiss his cheek, and he kisses mine. He hugs me and I hug him. I tell him I love him and he tells me the same. These are priceless moments. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, not even for the cup of coffee that was growing cold in the kitchen while we snuggled.
Happy Chinese New Year
Tonya
I had knee surgery on Jan 21. I tell you, recovering from surgery is different at 40 then it was at 28 (the last time I had a scope done). My body simply did not respond the way I hoped. Thankfully my sweet mom flew in from Wisconsin and spent the week with us. She took such great care of all of us! She got the kids off to school each morning, feed us, helped the kids with homework, etc. It was such a blessing to our family. I don’t know what I would have done without her.
Mom left on Sunday, so Monday afternoon when it came time to stand in the kitchen and cook dinner I thought, ‘well, we’ll see how this works.’ It didn’t work. I found I could not stand more then a few minutes. My sweet friend Julie came to the rescue and rushed over with a stool so I can lean or sit while cooking. Thanks Julie! Several other friends blessed us with a gift cards to restaurants so I wouldn’t have to be on my feet so much, cooking dinners, etc. during recovery. What great friends we have, amazing.
Yesterday was the first day of my physical therapy, which hurt like… well a lot! A friend said that the PT should stand for pain and torture, not physical therapy. After yesterday’s appointment I think I agree! Yikes. After PT I thought going out to eat (AKA not cooking) was a great idea so we met John at a restaurant on his way home from work. Daniel invited the waitress to stay and pray with us over our food. It was really sweet. He took her hand and said “you pray with us”. Very graciously, she joined hands with us and bowed her head while John prayed!
Daniel’s communicative language is exploding! Last week I was listening to John, Cosette and Daniel having a conversation from my spot on the couch (while recovering from surgery). They had been to McDonalds as a treat and had each gotten one of those silly happy meal toys. The problem was Daniel couldn’t find his and was feeling frustrated. Finally after thinking about where it might be Daniel said “Daddy, I forgot it in your truck”. Yes, he said each of those words, clearly and in the correct grammatical order. He doesn’t always speak in quite so complete sentences. My mom’s observation was that he is speaking in two word sentences mostly. The point is, he’s doing great. He almost always communicates what he wants to and he keeps trying when we don’t understand.
School is going well. He is slowly picking up on things. His teacher says that as soon as his language catches up he will excel. When I asked about 1st grade next year his teacher said “He’s a very smart boy. I’m not worried at all.” Last week he successfully spelled three of his four spelling words on his quiz. That’s amazing considering until four month ago he knew no English and until three months ago he had no formal education in his life. This week a light bulb of sorts went on as we talked about the pattern in his new list of spelling words: HUG, BUG, RUG, etc. He was so excited when he started to see the UG pattern. The minute John was home he ran and showed John the pattern too. We are very proud of his progress.
Cosette is doing well also. During my recovery from surgery she was such a wonderful little helper. She got out the cereal for the two kids morning. She helped make lunches and was my “runner” when I needed misc. things around the house. She is really excelling at school this year. When asked what her favorite subject is she says “reading.”
Daniel has started telling us stories from China. It has been so interesting learning about his foster parents and foster siblings. One story was about a friend he clearly loved. He told us about walking to his house and playing with him. Sometimes he took naps at his friend’s house. He almost cried when talking about this friend. Another story was about the day the orphanage director took him from his foster family. I think this is also when they headed to Shenyang to meet us (not sure about this). He talked about being in a “big big car” (probably a van) and seeing his “mommy” out the window. He said they were both crying. I’m so grateful he had the love of a mom and dad before he came to be with us. Another story was about a neighborhood dog that he was afraid of. How it chased him and almost bit him. He told us his “daddy” smoked and that he was sometimes mean to his “mom”. I look forward to more and more stories. We have so little information about his first 6 years. I’m writing each down as he shares them hoping these stories will be the source of some peace in the future; a connection to his past of sorts.
My favorite time of the day is when the kiddos first wake up, especially if they wake up separately. My kids are both snugglers! This morning Daniel staggered out of his room first. He came up to me and pushed his little body into mine saying “I love my mommy” while covering his eyes from the light. We usually sit in the rocker for a few minutes, as long as he will stay, and snuggle. I kiss his cheek, and he kisses mine. He hugs me and I hug him. I tell him I love him and he tells me the same. These are priceless moments. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, not even for the cup of coffee that was growing cold in the kitchen while we snuggled.
Happy Chinese New Year
Tonya
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Why do we do what we do?
When I reflect on Christmas this year, I find it was full of so many wonderful things. Seeing Christmas through Daniels eyes gave us the opportunity to reflect on why we do what we do at Christmas time. Think about it, having a tree inside our hose, that’s kinda crazy, right? Stockings hanging on the mantel, gift exchanges, parties, wreath on the door, etc. Why do we do them? Tradition, I know, but what meaning do they hold for our family? And if it’s an empty tradition, do we really need it? How does this activity, tradition or event celebrate our precious Jesus’ birth? Some things are simply fun, and we enjoy them together as a family, no harm right? Probably not, but what if these things distract from the reason we celebrate, God sending his Son to earth to reconcile us to the Father.
Daniel is in the “why?” phase! Remember that phase when your kids asked why about everything, then they asked “why” again, and again, and again? I’m sure you remember. It can be annoying, but I’m trying to allow these questions to help me think about WHY. I don’t want to just go through the routine without thought. Why do I spend days baking gifts for my neighbors? Is it just a gift? Or am I taking the opportunity to bless them, build relationships and hopefully open doors so I can introduce them to my Jesus! How might I do it differently if I have these things in my mind?
What are your traditions? Ask yourself WHY. Allow yourself to get beyond the emotional attachment to these things and truly reflect on their meaning, their value to this very important celebration of Christ’s birth.
Daniel is in the “why?” phase! Remember that phase when your kids asked why about everything, then they asked “why” again, and again, and again? I’m sure you remember. It can be annoying, but I’m trying to allow these questions to help me think about WHY. I don’t want to just go through the routine without thought. Why do I spend days baking gifts for my neighbors? Is it just a gift? Or am I taking the opportunity to bless them, build relationships and hopefully open doors so I can introduce them to my Jesus! How might I do it differently if I have these things in my mind?
What are your traditions? Ask yourself WHY. Allow yourself to get beyond the emotional attachment to these things and truly reflect on their meaning, their value to this very important celebration of Christ’s birth.
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