I wanted to share that recently Daniel has started saying "I love mommy" a lot lately. He will pause for my reply "Wo ai ne Daniel" (I love Daniel). They he says "No, I really REALLY love mommy" with the emphasis on the second really and a tight hug around my neck. Makes a mothers heart very, VERY happy! He is such a tender and loving little boy who has brought so much joy to our lives.
On a more difficult note, he has recently been telling us about some violence that he witnessed in his foster home. It's quite disturbing, but I'm so glad he is feeling safe enough to tell us. The amazing thing is that Daniel does not seem to be aggressive at all. He has never displayed any aggression at school and when he fights with his sister it's verbal, not physical. What a testimony to God's grace that he did not normalize the violence he saw at home and become violent himself.
Daniel had the flu last week, so the topic of being sick, germs, hospitals, etc. came up quite a few times. During one conversation, he was trying to tell me something and I was not understanding so I asked him to draw me a picture. He drew an arm with an IV in the hand and shots going into his arm. He pointed and said "Daniel's arm." When I asked him if he was very sick he said "Oh, Tung guo (China) say no talk about sick." And that was that. He refused to say another word. It seemed clear to me he was told not to tell us about being sick. I think he forgot at first and then remembered and stopped abruptly.
I am currently searching for a play therapist with international adoption experience. Thus far I'm not having much luck. Karyn Purvis (The Connected Child) lives and works here in the Dallas metroplex but she has a two year waiting list AND you have to be in crisis to even be considered. Daniel is not in crisis. My goal of course is to avoid crisis. Any local recommendations would be appreciated.
Tonya
Friday, February 20, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
5 months home... an update
I’ve been quiet for almost a month. Life has kept trucking on, I just haven’t written. I know there are many watching for updates; anticipating my posts because you love my kiddos and want to know how they are doing. So to those, you know who you are, I am sorry for my silence. I will try to post more often.
I had knee surgery on Jan 21. I tell you, recovering from surgery is different at 40 then it was at 28 (the last time I had a scope done). My body simply did not respond the way I hoped. Thankfully my sweet mom flew in from Wisconsin and spent the week with us. She took such great care of all of us! She got the kids off to school each morning, feed us, helped the kids with homework, etc. It was such a blessing to our family. I don’t know what I would have done without her.
Mom left on Sunday, so Monday afternoon when it came time to stand in the kitchen and cook dinner I thought, ‘well, we’ll see how this works.’ It didn’t work. I found I could not stand more then a few minutes. My sweet friend Julie came to the rescue and rushed over with a stool so I can lean or sit while cooking. Thanks Julie! Several other friends blessed us with a gift cards to restaurants so I wouldn’t have to be on my feet so much, cooking dinners, etc. during recovery. What great friends we have, amazing.
Yesterday was the first day of my physical therapy, which hurt like… well a lot! A friend said that the PT should stand for pain and torture, not physical therapy. After yesterday’s appointment I think I agree! Yikes. After PT I thought going out to eat (AKA not cooking) was a great idea so we met John at a restaurant on his way home from work. Daniel invited the waitress to stay and pray with us over our food. It was really sweet. He took her hand and said “you pray with us”. Very graciously, she joined hands with us and bowed her head while John prayed!
Daniel’s communicative language is exploding! Last week I was listening to John, Cosette and Daniel having a conversation from my spot on the couch (while recovering from surgery). They had been to McDonalds as a treat and had each gotten one of those silly happy meal toys. The problem was Daniel couldn’t find his and was feeling frustrated. Finally after thinking about where it might be Daniel said “Daddy, I forgot it in your truck”. Yes, he said each of those words, clearly and in the correct grammatical order. He doesn’t always speak in quite so complete sentences. My mom’s observation was that he is speaking in two word sentences mostly. The point is, he’s doing great. He almost always communicates what he wants to and he keeps trying when we don’t understand.
School is going well. He is slowly picking up on things. His teacher says that as soon as his language catches up he will excel. When I asked about 1st grade next year his teacher said “He’s a very smart boy. I’m not worried at all.” Last week he successfully spelled three of his four spelling words on his quiz. That’s amazing considering until four month ago he knew no English and until three months ago he had no formal education in his life. This week a light bulb of sorts went on as we talked about the pattern in his new list of spelling words: HUG, BUG, RUG, etc. He was so excited when he started to see the UG pattern. The minute John was home he ran and showed John the pattern too. We are very proud of his progress.
Cosette is doing well also. During my recovery from surgery she was such a wonderful little helper. She got out the cereal for the two kids morning. She helped make lunches and was my “runner” when I needed misc. things around the house. She is really excelling at school this year. When asked what her favorite subject is she says “reading.”
Daniel has started telling us stories from China. It has been so interesting learning about his foster parents and foster siblings. One story was about a friend he clearly loved. He told us about walking to his house and playing with him. Sometimes he took naps at his friend’s house. He almost cried when talking about this friend. Another story was about the day the orphanage director took him from his foster family. I think this is also when they headed to Shenyang to meet us (not sure about this). He talked about being in a “big big car” (probably a van) and seeing his “mommy” out the window. He said they were both crying. I’m so grateful he had the love of a mom and dad before he came to be with us. Another story was about a neighborhood dog that he was afraid of. How it chased him and almost bit him. He told us his “daddy” smoked and that he was sometimes mean to his “mom”. I look forward to more and more stories. We have so little information about his first 6 years. I’m writing each down as he shares them hoping these stories will be the source of some peace in the future; a connection to his past of sorts.
My favorite time of the day is when the kiddos first wake up, especially if they wake up separately. My kids are both snugglers! This morning Daniel staggered out of his room first. He came up to me and pushed his little body into mine saying “I love my mommy” while covering his eyes from the light. We usually sit in the rocker for a few minutes, as long as he will stay, and snuggle. I kiss his cheek, and he kisses mine. He hugs me and I hug him. I tell him I love him and he tells me the same. These are priceless moments. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, not even for the cup of coffee that was growing cold in the kitchen while we snuggled.
Happy Chinese New Year
Tonya
I had knee surgery on Jan 21. I tell you, recovering from surgery is different at 40 then it was at 28 (the last time I had a scope done). My body simply did not respond the way I hoped. Thankfully my sweet mom flew in from Wisconsin and spent the week with us. She took such great care of all of us! She got the kids off to school each morning, feed us, helped the kids with homework, etc. It was such a blessing to our family. I don’t know what I would have done without her.
Mom left on Sunday, so Monday afternoon when it came time to stand in the kitchen and cook dinner I thought, ‘well, we’ll see how this works.’ It didn’t work. I found I could not stand more then a few minutes. My sweet friend Julie came to the rescue and rushed over with a stool so I can lean or sit while cooking. Thanks Julie! Several other friends blessed us with a gift cards to restaurants so I wouldn’t have to be on my feet so much, cooking dinners, etc. during recovery. What great friends we have, amazing.
Yesterday was the first day of my physical therapy, which hurt like… well a lot! A friend said that the PT should stand for pain and torture, not physical therapy. After yesterday’s appointment I think I agree! Yikes. After PT I thought going out to eat (AKA not cooking) was a great idea so we met John at a restaurant on his way home from work. Daniel invited the waitress to stay and pray with us over our food. It was really sweet. He took her hand and said “you pray with us”. Very graciously, she joined hands with us and bowed her head while John prayed!
Daniel’s communicative language is exploding! Last week I was listening to John, Cosette and Daniel having a conversation from my spot on the couch (while recovering from surgery). They had been to McDonalds as a treat and had each gotten one of those silly happy meal toys. The problem was Daniel couldn’t find his and was feeling frustrated. Finally after thinking about where it might be Daniel said “Daddy, I forgot it in your truck”. Yes, he said each of those words, clearly and in the correct grammatical order. He doesn’t always speak in quite so complete sentences. My mom’s observation was that he is speaking in two word sentences mostly. The point is, he’s doing great. He almost always communicates what he wants to and he keeps trying when we don’t understand.
School is going well. He is slowly picking up on things. His teacher says that as soon as his language catches up he will excel. When I asked about 1st grade next year his teacher said “He’s a very smart boy. I’m not worried at all.” Last week he successfully spelled three of his four spelling words on his quiz. That’s amazing considering until four month ago he knew no English and until three months ago he had no formal education in his life. This week a light bulb of sorts went on as we talked about the pattern in his new list of spelling words: HUG, BUG, RUG, etc. He was so excited when he started to see the UG pattern. The minute John was home he ran and showed John the pattern too. We are very proud of his progress.
Cosette is doing well also. During my recovery from surgery she was such a wonderful little helper. She got out the cereal for the two kids morning. She helped make lunches and was my “runner” when I needed misc. things around the house. She is really excelling at school this year. When asked what her favorite subject is she says “reading.”
Daniel has started telling us stories from China. It has been so interesting learning about his foster parents and foster siblings. One story was about a friend he clearly loved. He told us about walking to his house and playing with him. Sometimes he took naps at his friend’s house. He almost cried when talking about this friend. Another story was about the day the orphanage director took him from his foster family. I think this is also when they headed to Shenyang to meet us (not sure about this). He talked about being in a “big big car” (probably a van) and seeing his “mommy” out the window. He said they were both crying. I’m so grateful he had the love of a mom and dad before he came to be with us. Another story was about a neighborhood dog that he was afraid of. How it chased him and almost bit him. He told us his “daddy” smoked and that he was sometimes mean to his “mom”. I look forward to more and more stories. We have so little information about his first 6 years. I’m writing each down as he shares them hoping these stories will be the source of some peace in the future; a connection to his past of sorts.
My favorite time of the day is when the kiddos first wake up, especially if they wake up separately. My kids are both snugglers! This morning Daniel staggered out of his room first. He came up to me and pushed his little body into mine saying “I love my mommy” while covering his eyes from the light. We usually sit in the rocker for a few minutes, as long as he will stay, and snuggle. I kiss his cheek, and he kisses mine. He hugs me and I hug him. I tell him I love him and he tells me the same. These are priceless moments. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, not even for the cup of coffee that was growing cold in the kitchen while we snuggled.
Happy Chinese New Year
Tonya
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