Is he sad or mad? or both?

Hi all. After a quick stop at Daniels orphanage to drop off the milk powder and biscuits (both specifically requested by the director), and a 4 hour drive we are back in Shenyang. I didn't take very many pictures today. Right is a pic of Cosette and Daniel giving the gifts to the Director and Mrs. Pan. Below left is Cosette saying goodbye to our Dalian guide, Ilene. Far below on the right are Cosette and Daniel sweetly playing gameboy together.

I’m concerned that I’ve painted to rosy a picture of Daniel’s adjustment to us; and ours to him. It has not been all fun and games. But who would expect that? The fact is, it’s difficult! Daniel has spent 6 years going back and forth between an orphanage and his foster family, never sure what to expect. He has been suddenly removed from everything familiar and placed in this family that smells, looks and sounds so very different. He can’t communicate; he has little or no control over his life at all. I’d be concerned if he wasn’t frustrated.

We are having a lot of fun; we laugh and play most of the time together. But he also has moments of frustration and anger; perhaps he doesn’t understand, perhaps he is afraid? I probably won’t ever know for sure. He rages some during these moments, screaming at us in Mandarin and flailing his legs and arms. It’s very sad. We hold him, make sure he isn’t able to hurt himself or anyone else, and we do our best to reassure him. Rocking and kissing his head, praying for him and loving him the best we know how.

It seems also that he has never heard the word “no”. It’s hard to believe that in the orphanage he was allowed to do what he wanted, but it seems to be the case. He melts into tearful fits if we don’t buy this or that, or when he doesn’t get to sit where he wants, or if he perceives Cosette got some privilege that he did not.

It is difficult to know how to parent a child with whom you can’t communicate. Did he really understand the instruction and disobey? Or did he simply have no idea what we were saying? Perhaps culturally our actions communicated something we did not intend, or maybe he was told his American parents would give him anything he wanted?

Please pray that we would have God’s wisdom!

Tomorrow the Imperial Palace and Mausoleum then a famous dumpling restaurant! Should be a treat for the adults, I hope the kids like it too. Thanks for following along. Cosette wakes up every morning and runs to the computer to see if we have any comments! We enjoy the connection to home. Tomorrow marks the half way point for our trip. I may run out of things to say soon (tee hee).

Be a blessing today!
Tonya