Adoption Day Remembered... 5 years ago today!

An exerpt from my journal in 2004...
(pictures THEN left and below... NOW right)

On August 11, 2002, I held my baby Cosette for the first time. The day began with a flight from Beijing to Guangzhou, China. My mother met our adoption travel group at the airport in Guangzhou and we traveled by bus to the government building where we were to be given our baby. I remember my mom telling me about a dream she had about Cosette. I don't remember the whole dream, but I do remember one distinct detail. She said that in the dream Cosette was able to speak in fluent English. We had a good laugh together about that one. The bus ride seemed like an eternity. Sally, our guide, was telling us what would happen once we arrived, but I couldn't process her words. Too many other things were going on in my heart and mind. As we arrived John was video taping trying to make sure we got establishing shots of the building or something. I remember wondering how he could think clearly enough to run the camera. I could hardly put one foot in front of the other. We walked into the building and were waiting for an elevator when a group of Chinese women walked into the building each holding babies. Our hearts jumped as we scanned the babies to see if ours were there. But these were not our girls.

We were then ushered into a room where we were to wait until they called our names. One at a time each family would be called out of the room, and return moments later with a precious child. I was fighting tears as we waited for our turn. Then, finally, Sally called our names. I felt as if the world went into slow motion, each heartbeat palpable, reminding myself to breath. We walked into a hallway and were asked to proof read Cosette's adoption decree. I remember saying out loud, "You're kidding right? You expect me to read and comprehend this?" They did. On the move again, we rounded the corner and set our eyes on our precious child. The lead nanny was asking us something in Chinese. Sally translated: she wanted to know if I knew which baby was ours? Did I know her????? "YES!" I said, pointing toward Cosette, "right there. Please may I hold her?" fighting back tears and trying to remain calm and respectful. It seemed like an eternity before the director place her in my arms, although in truth it was fairly immediate. The emotions I felt the moment her skin first brushed my hand as I reached for her are almost indescribable. I felt very unworthy and so incredibly blessed. Excitement, fear, unbelievable honor, abundant joy... I remember thinking how soft her skin was, how chubby her little legs were, how much hair she had, how red her lips were... we spent the next hour or so getting to know our new daughter. These moments would probably all be a blur if not for my sweet mom. She had the video camera running the whole time! We have every precious moment recorded. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Mom.

It wasn't until we walked out of the Civil Affairs building later that afternoon, Cosette snuggling in my arms, that relief finally came. You see, after a decade of disappointments and heartache it had been difficult for me to really believe I would ever have a child to call my own. On the plane ride from the US to China I had a nightmare about being told we could not have Cosette and having to go home with empty arms. Honestly, I just couldn't let myself believe it would ever really happen. As we walked out of that building with our baby in my arms I finally allowed myself to believe, tears streaming down my face, that Cosette was finally MINE!

That night in the hotel I hardly slept. I just couldn't keep my eyes off my precious baby. She was perfect in every way. I remember thanking God over and over and over, completely overwhelmed by this blessing He had given me.

Our years together have been marked with so much joy. Cosette has blessed our lives completely. This journey has taught me many things, but above all else Cosette is a constant reminder of how much God loves me.

I am blessed!
Tonya